Sunday, October 30, 2011

So, are you a woman?

Welcome to my first rant!  From time to time I'll get on my soapbox and discuss issues that come to mind while I'm online in Second Life.  Pray I don't start talking about politics, virtual or real, but don't be surprised when I do.  The one thing I will ask you when I rant is that I'd like your thoughts.  Am I making sense?  Am I off base?  Do I sound like I'm menstruating and just need to shut the hell up?  Tell me what you think?  But please, keep it clean and try not to be too much of a troll.  While I like feedback on my opinions I don't like being called... well let's just say there's a lot.  So if I hit a personal bone with you, please tell me I did and why, but keep the personal insults to yourself.  I'd hate to have to delete your reply from the blog.

So on with the rant... taking a deep breath! 

One of the interesting things about being a woman in Second Life is from time to time, having to answer the question "are you a woman in real life?".  I don't normally get this question on a regular basis but once about every two to three months I do.  I'm not sure why I do, I say I'm a woman in my profile.  I say I'm a woman in this blog.  Sedona sure looks like a woman to me.  And still, I get this question.

I'm not naive to the fact that there are many female avatars in Second Life who have real life male counterparts.  I've been friends with a few and they do a pretty good job of presenting themselves in Second Life as women.  In all cases I treat them as women, I think of them as women and I respect the reasons that the man is playing a female avatar.  So I'm also very aware that some of the females in Second Life are real life males posing as lesbians in hopes of obtaining some kinky lesbian sex.  This applies to a lot of real life woman too.  Having been in a real life lesbian relationship I can say that you can usually tell who has real experience in that area and who doesn't. Suffice to say there are a lot of female avatars in Second Life that are experimenting.

Now that my rant is off in the weeds on something totally off base, let me see if I can get back on track.  So about the question of whether I'm a female in real life... why does this even happen?  Why do people, mainly male avatars, ask me this?  I can only surmise they think that some kind of real world connection may eventually happen. I find this extraordinary in the fact that I'm not looking for a real life relationship in Second Life.  Coupled with age differences, distance, cultures, real world likes and dislikes, and lord knows what other complications come into play I find it rather unlikely that any life long soul mate would ever come from a random chance meeting in Second Life.

Having said that, in Second Life I do have a soul mate, Skiler or as affectionately call her, Sky. She is truly my one true love in Second Life. She and I do everything together, we are the best of friends.  We also live very close to each other in real life but we both choose to keep Second Life separate from our real lives for many reasons of our own. The first being we love the fantasy and the companionship we have together in Second Life.  Our eventual affection for each other was not a spur of the moment event.  We knew each other for about eight months before we even thought about anything serious in Second Life.  If I ever broke up with her I'm sure it would take some time for me to foster a connection with another virtual love.  So I find the entire idea of "hoping" that some chance meeting on the grid will produce a real life romance and eventually a real life marriage, simply ludicrous.  That kind of bonding takes time, even if it starts in Second Life.

So if the eventual real life hook-up is out, what other possibility is there?  I can only think of one.  The person asking, and again, it's usually a guy that's involved, is that they want to make sure before they ask me to bump ugly's with their pixels that I am actually a woman in real life.  Now this intrigues me.  Being somebody that plays on both sides of the street I have no comprehension for why this is the case.  I can only surmise that the real life person, man or woman, has hopes that the female puppeteer behind Sedona is also getting off while performing the dirty deeds of pixel sex.  And if the person behind Sedona wasn't the "required" sex and was STILL getting off, well then, that would be "just wrong". I guess in some peoples minds this would be considered gay sex?

What truly intrigues me is that the person asking Sedona if she is a woman in real life isn't having sex with the woman behind Sedona.  They are having pixel sex with Sedona!!  And I'm pretty sure regardless of what sex I am, she is a woman.  If I did decide that Sedona would perform oral sex with a guy, does it really matter what my real life sex is?  If I did a really good job describing my pixelated actions to my virtual lover does it really matter what sex I am?  Apparently it does to some. And to be honest, I'm still at a loss as to why this matters.

But, I do have a solution.  In these discussions I do get rather sassy about the topic.  I shouldn't have to prove I'm a woman in real life any more then a hot sexy male avatar should have to prove that they are a hot sexy man, or even a man in real life.  Do we ask furry avatars to prove they are furies in real life?  Do we ask vampire avatars if they are vampires or child avatars if they are children in real life?  I don't believe so.  So, my solution is simple.  If anyone ever asks me if I'm really a woman in real life my answer is yes.  If I'm asked if I'm a man in real life, my answer is yes.  If I'm asked if I'm anything in real life my answer is... yes.  Because to be honest, I don't really give a damn what you think I should be in real life to make your libido rev up into overdrive.  If Sedona's looks coupled with my personality and spirit isn't enough for you then move on brother. I know who I am, I know that I'm a woman and I know that I'm good with my sexuality when I'm with other men or women. Regardless of whether it's my real life or my second life.

And that's all I have to say on that matter.  What are your thoughts on this?



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