STFU!!

Okay so I'm hanging out with my better half, otherwise known as Sky and we are having fun joking it up in local chat when all of a sudden a five, ten or gawd, twenty line gesture moves up across the screen blocking the entire conversation.  Shut the f**k up!!!  I don't give a rat's a** that you want everyone to know that;

1. The DJ is awesome!! 
2. That's your sissy-poo!
3. You can make cool hand gestures with ascii characters.. which by the way people were doing in the eighties! Loser.
4. That you love the song.
5. That you can't obviously spell applause.

And so on and so on.  Hosts, live act promoters... hint to be less obnoxious;  [Inhales] We know the person is awesome and wonderful and great and super and excellent and all of that other crap because if they weren't we wouldn't spend our precious free time being there with them and not with you spamming local chat with useless character art.  [Exhales]

So give it a break and STFU! Let the people speak and keep quiet if you have nothing to add to the conversation!

Whew.. I feel better now :)

Waiting...

Here is another story for you. I'm still just winging this blog in hopes to provide interesting content that is worth reading. This story provides one of my more favorite looks.  I call this my Audrey Hepburn look. I think it's classy and sexy at the same time. It's a fun outfit to wear in a nice jazz club or while shopping. Well on with the story. I hope you like it. Let me know.


Sed.

The lunch was okay.  Turkey and water cress sandwiches and a light fruity champagne with crisp asparagus adorned the plate on the table before me. My mom, seated next to me, is talking about this and that. I'm not really listening but trying to. Normally she talks about the other ladies at her club. All of the juicy gossip at that place could be background material for soap operas. Against her constant pontification my mind wanders about the upcoming trip I have for work. I haven't told her yet why I'm going. My writing in the local home town paper has apparently been noticed by a large newspaper in New York City. I haven't the heart to tell her that I'd have to move to the city if I'm offered a job there.

My wandering thoughts clear as I see mom starting at me, now silent. She smiles weakly and asks me what is on my mind. I clear my throat and tell her I'm going over my itinerary to New York in my mind, what I'm going to wear and what I'm going to see. All of a sudden her smile widens and with bright eyes moves close to me.

"My friend Gladys has a nephew there. You should meet him!" she blurts out. "He's a lawyer, very smart, very well off I hear."
"I don't know mom" I reply meekly. "I'm not a big fan of hook ups or blinds dates."

It's not that I think I'm bad looking, but I never have good luck with blind dates.  There was the time with the banker. All he wanted was for me to open an account in his bank. And the advertising executive I went out with a few weeks ago, well the bruises are finally fading from that wrestling match.  But she is my mom and I figure why not.

"Go ahead and make the arrangements" I say after a big sigh. As I empty the champagne from my glass all I can think is that I hope my luck changes this time.

------

Standing alone in the elevator my thoughts run through my day. My interview went well and I felt really good about the job position with the paper. So far my trip to New York City has been really fun. Suddenly my thoughts come back to the moment as I feel the elevator slow it's decent and come to a stop.

The lobby doors open and I find myself standing there. My feet feel like lead. I tell them to move forward, and then again. A few people in the lobby glance my way. Why do I always feel this way on a blind date? Suddenly the doors start to close and I realize I'm going to look even more foolish then I do now if these doors close on me, leaving me in here. I quickly jump forward and place my clutch between the doors. They immediately open and I step out.

The crowded lobby was full of people engaged in their day to day lives. Hardly a person noticed me stepping through the now open doors except those already realizing my presence. While this didn't help my self esteem one bit it did also convey to me that there was nothing seriously wrong with how I looked.

I saw this dress in a store window earlier in the day. On the manikin this dressed look incredible and very classy. However as I was pulling the dress up over my waist and getting it fitted properly over my bosom, I realized just how high the hem actually went! Normally I don't wear hose but having my legs bare this high up to my thighs in public seemed too daring. I needed to cover them up. I knew I look absolutely stunning and sexy. This lawyer better be worth it!

As I stepped into the smoke filled lobby I noticed both men and women starting to make casual yet attentive stares at me in a way not to draw to much attention to themselves. I immediately became aware just how much of me I was showing in public.

The high hem line, the exposed cleavage, and now the thought that I should have worn a more sheer set of hose. I should just turn around and get back into the elevator. But no, I won't let prying eyes win over my self esteem or lack of it. I look perfect for this date and I refuse to allow a few stares and sly smiles to interfere with my evening.

Moving further into the lobby I realize that I don't see the man that is supposed to meet me here. We talked earlier today on the phone and he said he would be carrying a rose. Immediately I turn my attention to the task of looking for the delicate item in anyone's grasp.

To the left I see the bell hops working diligently to load up the guests luggage onto their carts in hopes of high tips and bell hop riches. The older ladies being expressive and sometimes cruel in giving them orders on how with "expertise" to load the carts. Their constant nagging didn't seem to express much fear in the bell hops as they just nodded and continued to perform the tasks that they have performed hundreds of times over. To the right I see the concierge showing a younger couple a "fine place" to go dancing. The wife of the couple holds herself close to her man and from time to time looks into his eyes with obvious love and desire. They must be newlyweds.

After a few moments of searching my mystery man was nowhere to be found. Note a single rose in sight. Where is he? I was hoping he wouldn't keep me waiting. It seems my evenings wishes are not fulfilled as of yet. My thoughts run to grabbing a cigarette from my clutch and lighting up. But doing so may bring more attention to me, so I abstain from the urge to do so.

Standing there in the lobby a small elderly woman, her appointed bell hop servant dutifully walking behind her, approaches me. At first I'm not sure why she seems to be moving towards me until suddenly I realize I'm blocking the elevator doors. I move to the side to allow her and her assisting bell hop, who now seems fully attentive to me and not her, pass by. As the young man moves past me I hear him inhale a deep breath through his nose probably in hopes of taking in my perfume fragrance. A smile forms on his lips as he succeeds. I look over to him and suddenly he and I lock eyes.

He's not a bad looking man. His dark hair, strong jaw and slim yet athletic build give him a Clark Gable look. The small thin mustache above his lip curls with his smile making the smile even more pronounced to the point that it almost looks like a sneer. But his eyes, his deep brown eyes pour into mine making me feel a bit guilty of the thoughts running through my mind. I've fallen into eyes just like his in the past. How soon I forget my life lesson when a similar set now pulls me in yet again. I couldn't draw my eyes away from his. He knew he had my attention and while I couldn't look away he did, looking down over my body and legs he now began to drink up a vision of us together in his mind I suspect. That sneer turned to a grin and I realized I was now the object of this guys post adolescent lust. He is probably six to eight years younger then me but still old enough to have experience, maybe too much.

As the pair moved into the elevator I turned to say something but I couldn't. I wouldn't make a scene here. Not now. The elderly woman asked the bell hop to hold the doors.

Smiling at me she asked "are you coming along dear?"
I replied with, "no thank you."
She immediately smiled, "are you waiting for someone?"
I nodded that I was.

Just as the doors start to close she whispers to me in a soft tone. "You may want to put some pads over your nipples dear, your excitement is showing."

The last sound I hear as the doors close is the bell hop trying not to laugh out loud behind clenched lips. I immediately look down and see she is right! My nipples are rock solid and visible behind the silk fabric of my dress! Had the thoughts in my mind with that smug young man really gotten me worked up? Maybe so. I also have been thinking about how the night will progress. Will my date turn into something more? I could only hope. It's been a while since I've had the pleasure of a man taking his pleasure with me.

Looking around I find a seat next to the elevator doors. I decide I need to sit in hopes of not exposing my hidden desire to anyone else. Where is this guy! As I sit my dress hikes up a bit over my thighs, exposing them even more to the gathering of people in the lobby. I reach down nonchalantly to pull the loose material back down over my legs but to no avail. Now more people turn to take glancing stares at me. Feeling uncomfortable I start to get a bit angry.

Why do people do that? Why do they have to stare at me but try to act like they aren't? My anger turns to defiance. Shifting my position in the chair my dress once again moves itself up my thighs. Crossing my legs so that I don't expose any more of myself I let the dress have the freedom it desires. "Look if you want people." I think to myself smugly. "Know that whatever lust you have for me inside you now will not be satisfied tonight."

I sit for about ten minutes in hopes that my breasts have calmed down. With some trepidation I stand up and move to the lobby desk. The desk clerk looks up from his register, takes a momentary stop when his eyes cross my cleavage and then in a hurried manner forces his gaze to mine. Giving him my name and room number I ask him that if a fella asks about me tonight to tell him that I've gone out. He nods with a curious gaze and furrowed brows. I thank him and walk straight back to the elevators in a fashion of force that causes my heels to provide a pronounced "click, click, click" across the tile floor.

Pressing the button for the elevator a set of doors immediately opens up. Stepping inside I press the button for my floor and wait for the doors to close. A few men in the lobby get in their last stares as the doors slowly close entombing me in a now quiet accent where all I hear are the motors and the soft music coming from the cheap speaker inside.

As the lift slows to my floor I think about yet another blind date gone bad. It's one more reason not to do them. I promise myself never again, until the next time. The doors open and as I step out my thoughts come back to the young bell hop. I wonder when his shift ends? Smiling to myself I dismiss the thought and remind myself that it was a good idea to get some fresh batteries at the corner store earlier today. Taking my heels off I stride down the carpeted hallway to my door, insert the key, sigh and smile. At least the rest of the night won't be a bore.

Okay, this story is a bit longer then I anticipated.  I hope you liked reading it as much as I did writing it. I have to thank my loving partner in Second Life, Sky. She provided me the prop for the pictures and the idea of the story including the title. You may be wondering, where is this ditz's cell phone? Hopefully some of you caught the light references to a time long past. 


If you liked the story and want me to write more please let me know. 



OUTFIT ITEMS:

• Skin: Belleza - Erika Med 17 Hair (cleavage)
• Lip Gloss: Blacklace - ~BB~ Clear Lip Gloss
• Blush: cheLLe - Everyday Blush 8
• Hair: Analog Dog - Mia Platinum w/ Cafe Bangs Platinum
• Necklace: Bandit - Etername Diamond
• Earrings: Bandit - Etername Diamond
• Dress and Gloves: B! Fashion - Audrey
• Hose: Bettie's Vintage - Opaque Ebony Pantyhose
• Shoes: Seven Heels - Classic Pump Black

So, are you a woman?

Welcome to my first rant!  From time to time I'll get on my soapbox and discuss issues that come to mind while I'm online in Second Life.  Pray I don't start talking about politics, virtual or real, but don't be surprised when I do.  The one thing I will ask you when I rant is that I'd like your thoughts.  Am I making sense?  Am I off base?  Do I sound like I'm menstruating and just need to shut the hell up?  Tell me what you think?  But please, keep it clean and try not to be too much of a troll.  While I like feedback on my opinions I don't like being called... well let's just say there's a lot.  So if I hit a personal bone with you, please tell me I did and why, but keep the personal insults to yourself.  I'd hate to have to delete your reply from the blog.

So on with the rant... taking a deep breath! 

One of the interesting things about being a woman in Second Life is from time to time, having to answer the question "are you a woman in real life?".  I don't normally get this question on a regular basis but once about every two to three months I do.  I'm not sure why I do, I say I'm a woman in my profile.  I say I'm a woman in this blog.  Sedona sure looks like a woman to me.  And still, I get this question.

I'm not naive to the fact that there are many female avatars in Second Life who have real life male counterparts.  I've been friends with a few and they do a pretty good job of presenting themselves in Second Life as women.  In all cases I treat them as women, I think of them as women and I respect the reasons that the man is playing a female avatar.  So I'm also very aware that some of the females in Second Life are real life males posing as lesbians in hopes of obtaining some kinky lesbian sex.  This applies to a lot of real life woman too.  Having been in a real life lesbian relationship I can say that you can usually tell who has real experience in that area and who doesn't. Suffice to say there are a lot of female avatars in Second Life that are experimenting.

Now that my rant is off in the weeds on something totally off base, let me see if I can get back on track.  So about the question of whether I'm a female in real life... why does this even happen?  Why do people, mainly male avatars, ask me this?  I can only surmise they think that some kind of real world connection may eventually happen. I find this extraordinary in the fact that I'm not looking for a real life relationship in Second Life.  Coupled with age differences, distance, cultures, real world likes and dislikes, and lord knows what other complications come into play I find it rather unlikely that any life long soul mate would ever come from a random chance meeting in Second Life.

Having said that, in Second Life I do have a soul mate, Skiler or as affectionately call her, Sky. She is truly my one true love in Second Life. She and I do everything together, we are the best of friends.  We also live very close to each other in real life but we both choose to keep Second Life separate from our real lives for many reasons of our own. The first being we love the fantasy and the companionship we have together in Second Life.  Our eventual affection for each other was not a spur of the moment event.  We knew each other for about eight months before we even thought about anything serious in Second Life.  If I ever broke up with her I'm sure it would take some time for me to foster a connection with another virtual love.  So I find the entire idea of "hoping" that some chance meeting on the grid will produce a real life romance and eventually a real life marriage, simply ludicrous.  That kind of bonding takes time, even if it starts in Second Life.

So if the eventual real life hook-up is out, what other possibility is there?  I can only think of one.  The person asking, and again, it's usually a guy that's involved, is that they want to make sure before they ask me to bump ugly's with their pixels that I am actually a woman in real life.  Now this intrigues me.  Being somebody that plays on both sides of the street I have no comprehension for why this is the case.  I can only surmise that the real life person, man or woman, has hopes that the female puppeteer behind Sedona is also getting off while performing the dirty deeds of pixel sex.  And if the person behind Sedona wasn't the "required" sex and was STILL getting off, well then, that would be "just wrong". I guess in some peoples minds this would be considered gay sex?

What truly intrigues me is that the person asking Sedona if she is a woman in real life isn't having sex with the woman behind Sedona.  They are having pixel sex with Sedona!!  And I'm pretty sure regardless of what sex I am, she is a woman.  If I did decide that Sedona would perform oral sex with a guy, does it really matter what my real life sex is?  If I did a really good job describing my pixelated actions to my virtual lover does it really matter what sex I am?  Apparently it does to some. And to be honest, I'm still at a loss as to why this matters.

But, I do have a solution.  In these discussions I do get rather sassy about the topic.  I shouldn't have to prove I'm a woman in real life any more then a hot sexy male avatar should have to prove that they are a hot sexy man, or even a man in real life.  Do we ask furry avatars to prove they are furies in real life?  Do we ask vampire avatars if they are vampires or child avatars if they are children in real life?  I don't believe so.  So, my solution is simple.  If anyone ever asks me if I'm really a woman in real life my answer is yes.  If I'm asked if I'm a man in real life, my answer is yes.  If I'm asked if I'm anything in real life my answer is... yes.  Because to be honest, I don't really give a damn what you think I should be in real life to make your libido rev up into overdrive.  If Sedona's looks coupled with my personality and spirit isn't enough for you then move on brother. I know who I am, I know that I'm a woman and I know that I'm good with my sexuality when I'm with other men or women. Regardless of whether it's my real life or my second life.

And that's all I have to say on that matter.  What are your thoughts on this?

Something more conventional

I'm still trying to find my way on how I want to present myself to the world.  One thing I need to do is provide better quality photos.  Let's hope this post looks better.


For this post let's skip the story line and just go with what I'm wearing here.  What I like about this outfit is that I found a pencil skirt that actually works well in Second Life.  When I stand it looks good, when I walk it looks good. When I dance, as long as I'm not dancing like a loon, which would be hard pressed to do in a pencil skirt, it looks good!

This outfit is simple, classy and traditional. It's not an in your face sexy look but more of an innocent cute look which I really like. I think every woman should have an outfit like this for those times when you just feel like looking nice, and nothing more.

The blouse from The Secret Store is really nice.  It comes with prims for the shoulders to provide a puffy look and a prim for the waist.  While the prims textures don't align the color and scale of the prim to the base shirt is just about identical and provides a really good look.  The blouse is provided in all three layers of shirt, undershirt and jacket.  All of the prims come with re-size scripts with an option to delete the script after you have the size right.  The blouse set is mod/copy/no transfer which comes in handy so when you do delete those scripts you still have an original copy.

The pencil skirt from Milady's Fancy Gowns is one of the best pencil skirts I've found in Second Life to date.  It has two versions actually. The pencil skirt shown and a longer skirt that covers the legs down to the middle calf.  It comes in many colors so I'm sure you'll see more of this necessary item in the future.  The one prim item that comes with it is this nice simple belt.  There are no scripts with the belt but the entire skirt ensemble is also mod/copy/no transfer and it was a snap to just re-size manually and adjust the belt position.

The shoes were an amazing find at LeLutka.  They don't come with the traditional re-size scripts but a hud is provided which allows you to adjust the skin tone and nail color.  The soles of the shoes come in three colors and can be selected in the hud.  The shoes come with a built in invisi-prim option or you can use the alpha layer, which removes the invisi-prim.

Overall I really like this outfit. It's definitely not the sexiest outfit in my closet but it is a great professional look. Since wearing it I've received many compliments about it.


OUTFIT ITEMS:

• Skin: Belleza - Erika Med 0 Hair
• Lips: Belleza - Erika Med Lips 2
• Lip Gloss: Blacklace - ~BB~ Clear Lip Gloss
• Blush: cheLLe - Everyday Blush 3
• Hair: Curio - Lovely - Wheat Blonde
• Necklace: Ashira's Aerie Juliet Heart Locket Pendant
• Earrings: Blaze - White Pearl Earring Studs
• Bangles: Ali Couture Pink Swirls Bangles
• Blouse: The Secret Store - Puffy Blouse - Lilies Teal / Coral
• Skirt: Milady's Fancy Gowns - Moneypenny Pencil Skirts - Taupe
• Shoes: LeLutka - Mischa in Sienna

Clubbing in all of the wrong places

Getting off of the subway I knew something was wrong.  This part of town just didn't look right for the club I was heading to.  I was supposed to meet my girlfriends and they told me this was the stop.  But looking up and down the dingy street a shiver came over me.  This can't be right.

My girlfriends wouldn't do this to me, this had to be the right stop. My few choices were simple, turn back around and get back on a train, or take a walk and find the club. My desire for fun overcame my common sense and off I went heading down the street.  The "tap tap tap" from the heels of my boots echoed off of the stale and unkempt buildings as I made my way down the dingy sidewalks that lined the empty street.  Suddenly I realized how I was dressed and how everybody was looking at me.  A sudden sense of panic rose up in me and I looked for a door to duck inside, but where?

My pace down the sidewalk quickened and my boots signaled this to the locals with their pronounced cadence. I could tell that I was prey here. Soon my pace was almost a run when a small group of young men materialized a few block in front of me.  I immediately turned the next corner and just about crashed into a group of streetwalkers. As I moved through them I was harassed by the ladies, telling me this was their corner and to find another place to stand. My god, they thought I was a common prostitute! Why would they think that I'm one of them?

As I made my way a few more blocks I saw a Waffle House on the corner. Thinking any port in a storm I rushed inside. Now as far as Waffle Houses go this place was... to be honest... a dump.  But it was warm and seemed safe for the moment. I sat down and ordered some coffee. The waitress looked me up and down asking me if I was local. I smiled and explained to her my situation. A grin came upon her face as she listened and when I was finished she recommend I stay with her at the restaurant until morning.

As I sat there looking out on the street from inside the people walking by were looking back at me.  A small crowd started to gather in front of the building. Some of the boys I saw earlier were part of the group.  The waitress made a call and almost immediately police showed up and had them disperse.  One of the officers came inside and came over to me. He explained that a working girl like myself should be more careful. Muttering to myself, I explained that I was not "working" at which point his eyebrows raised and something about a "crazy bitch" was muttered from his lips.  Surely he wasn't talking about me was he?

The rest of the night was uneventful and I spent it watching local restaurant patrons come and go. Some came and talked to me, many offered me cash for any services I may provide. As the waitresses shift ended so did the night. The morning sun was rising and she offered to take me back to the subway station.  As we made our way there I made a note to myself that the next time I wear this outfit, I'm taking a cab.

SHOT LOCATION: The Warehouse District - Urban Roleplay City, ParadiseView

OUTFIT ITEMS:

• Skin: Belleza - Erika Med 18 Hair (cleavage)
• Hair: Analog Dog - Cafe, platinum. I added bangs from Yum, platinum
• Blush: cheLLe - Everyday Blush 1
• Jewelry: Bandit - Akita Black Pearls Set
• Corset: J's Lace-Up Corset
• Skirt: Naima - Leather Skirt, Black
• Belt: Bax - Leather Belt M
• Boots: B&G - Bota Eternity

Another Fashion Site?

Hi.

Is this going to be just another fashion site?  Well yes and no.  I have a lot of outfits that I've been told I should write a blog about.  Well, I'm taking that advice and writing a blog. But being the opinionated bitch that I am I also will provide some insight into my life in Second Life.  I'll try to keep it honest which means some of you may get very upset with what I have to say.  Deal with it.

An now for your viewing pleasure.  Sedona's Altered State.