Why we Shop

I remember back in my early days of noob’lier innocence or as many of us remember, our first day in Second Life, we came to the very basic question; “Okay, I’ve learned to walk. Now where in the hell do I go to get rid of this horrid hair!”  As with any new intelligent being brought to life we realize the basic need to acquire stuff early on. Now not that I’m professing that everyone that logs into Second Life is intelligent, I wouldn’t even begin to believe that.  I can say that we love to have ‘stuff’.

I listen to other people while I make my way around the sims. Yes, I actually do while flashing my ass and pouring any word that finds itself in my brain out through my mouth with little to no regard.  In doing so I’ve learned that people love to amass just about anything.  And that is not just something we do here in Second Life.  Think about it, what do you collect in your real life, or in Second Life? Or, in your World of Warcraft life, or your Eve Online life, or your Lord of the Rings Online life or in Farmville or Cityville lives?  Or in the countless other games and adventures we find ourselves involved in.  Now I’m not a big fan of gaming but my son is and I can say that he has accumulated more crap in those games then Fred Sanford on a buying binge!  It’s in our nature to do so.  Face it, we shop because we love to collect… “stuff”.

So. I guess this article is over! Why do we shop? Because we like to collect crap and horde it away!  I’ll see you next month!

Okay… that was just plain silly.  But it’s really that simple.  I’m sure when you read the title you were like, oh my god this dizzy bitch is going to put twenty-five hundred words down on why we shop?  Oh hell no I’m not! So what is this rant really about then?  When I thought about that it really took me some time to think it out.  Let’s go back to my original premise about why we shop in general.  People love to collect “things”.  And in our western real life societies just about everything we are exposed to plays to us on that premise.  Whether it’s buying a car or buying sneakers, whether it’s online or offline, and whether it’s in real life or Second Life we are constantly bombarded to get our fix for more stuff.

Earlier I remarked that in the online community we have plenty of outlets to find that needed fix.  Even social media on the internet is all about it.  Anyone that wants to sell you something is on Facebook.  Every web site you go to, including many blogs has advertising.  It’s pervasive and it’s everywhere.  So, really the question I should have put the title of this opinion piece to is “Why do we Shop in Second Life?”

There are many reasons people come to Second Life but I don’t believe shopping is one them.  I have never heard anyone say they came to Second Life to get that hottie dress or awesome Harley.  Some come to find friends or some form of companionship.  Some come to get a sexual high.  Some come to find themselves and given the low cost of personal exposure, see just how far they would go in just about anything if they could shackle the bonds of “respectable culture and etiquette”.  There are lots of reasons why we bring ourselves initially to Second Life, but I’m pretty sure shopping isn’t one of them.

 So assuming that, why do we, once we get here, make it a key aspect of this simulated world and for many a central aspect of our avatars lives?  Why does Linden Labs advertise Second Life as a great shopping experience?  Why is the “fashion world” so big on Second Life?  And yes, why are there more clothing stores then just about anything else, including which amazes me, places of sexual fantasy on the grid?  I understand we like to acquire things.  It’s in our nature and I’ve pretty much established my understanding of that.  But why do we use Second Life so much to also fill that need?  Especially when we can go anywhere and in any environment in our collective universe and fill it there too?

That is the basic question I’m asking.  If you don’t believe my hypothesis that people massively horde in Second Life then take a look at the statistics.  The amount of value of goods that changes hands every month in Second Life is approximately 1.4 million dollars! The technical infrastructure of storage to store our assets that Linden Labs publishes proves that I’m not the only person with a 40,000+ item inventory.  Many people I know have significantly larger inventories.  Many of us use Second Life for many reasons but we also acquire much in doing so.  How come?

Have you ever gone shopping in your real life for something you know you cannot afford?  A new car or home perhaps?  Or maybe you go to that high end clothing store and “look around”?  I know I have.  I love to shop in real life.  I especially love to shop for clothing.  So of course Second Life also gives me that outlet.  I’m an easy target here.  But let me explain why I love shopping.  I don’t get off buying expensive clothing to say I have expensive clothing, well sometimes I do.  But many times I can’t afford what I want and I don’t purchase it.  But getting dressed in what little high end clothing I have and then hitting those boutiques that cater to those who can, and being pampered there is a personal high for me.  To put on something I know I can’t afford, to see myself in that wonderful flowing gown gives me a rush.  It’s my way of building my own fantasy.

Can I have that same look that I see in those magazine?  Can I be glamorous too?  Going shopping and being able to put myself into those wonderful clothes and shoes, to try them on, to feel myself in them makes me feel better about myself, who I am, what I can be, and motivates me to get myself there.  Tell me you don’t do the same thing!  Whether you are shopping for a new car, a new home, or even a new spouse I’m sure you imagine yourself there with that new bobble or prize.  We all do it in real life.  However, many of us cannot either afford it, or in some other way, maybe due to our physical appearance, or time give ourselves the luxury for such endeavors thus we really never engage in such activity.

But now we have Second Life!  We have an environment where we can be exactly who and how we want to be!  How we look, how we act, our gender and now for many of us, the ability to afford those wonderful things we so covet in our real lives.  Whether it’s a big home, a new car, that awesome ride, or those incredible boots we now have the ability to completely fulfill that fantasy and do so without a huge investment.  It’s not so much our gender or our sexual preference that drives us to shop.  Those attributes may dictate what we shop for but the feeling we get when we see our avatar, our personification of ourselves, enacting out a real life fantasy gives us a similar rush, just as if we had done so in real life.  Whether that fantasy is sexual or materialistic in nature, fulfilling it gives us that good feeling inside of ourselves.

Can it get better?

One of the fascinating things I love about technology in general is that it’s always getting better.  In my short life I’ve seen technology vastly change how we communicate and how we entertain ourselves.  In many ways it has made some of the mundane go away.  Second Life is no different.  While many profess that many of the recent changes in Second Life is a bane to their existence I am not one of those people.  I have invested in my own personal infrastructure to take advantage of improving technology, including improvements in Second Life.  I don’t profess to be crazy tech-head silly about it, but every few years I invest a little into something newer to make my experience a better one and to keep up.  Many of the developments of the new viewer base code that Linden Labs opens up has provided significant improvements on how I use Second Life to keep my “stuff” organized and to have a more realistic look.  Namely;

•    Outfits: The ability to store links to items in our inventory has completely removed the need for a copy of an item for each outfit.  In the past we stored outfits in folders and needed a copy of the specific items in those folders to make up outfits.  Now we have links and can manage our inventory much better based not on now how we wear or use items, but on what those items attributes specifically are that identify them.  I see a future article on how to leverage outfits and organize your clothing inventory coming soon.

•    Multiple prim attachments to a single attachment point: Before multiple attachments if you wanted to wear many rings or earrings or piercings you were stuck with one item per attachment point.  No more.  Now we can “add” multiple items to any attachment point we wish.  We can now “load up” on jewelry or fashion accessories.

•    Multiple attachments to a specific clothing layer: How many times did you have both a bra and top that only had undershirt layers?  You had to choose another item for an outer layer or go without.  No longer are we saddled with that limitation.

•    The tattoo layer: Adding this new layer and being able to attach up to five different articles has opened up a whole new world to how we present ourselves.  Not only does it free up a layer for more clothing options, it releases us from having to by a huge amount of skins for each makeup look.  Now we can buy that standard un-made look and then find makeup choices from other artists.  It totally changes how we can present our naked selves to the world.

•    The alpha layer: In the past we used “invisi-prims” to hide specific parts of our avatar that got in the way.  Shoes used these heavily.  Now we can add multiple alpha layer “items” just like tattoos.  This has a better effect on our visual appearance as you no longer have the invisi-block showing that plagues us when we are rendered over another texture with some form of transparency.

•    Mesh: While my good friend Gudrun is not a proponent of mesh because of incapable backward compatibility, I am a big fan of mesh.  Yes there are limitations to it but the final presence that mesh provides is a magnitude better than anything else up to this point.  Also due to the technology and how it’s implemented I now can try something on before I buy it.  No more guessing how that item will look on me instead of the picture.  My online shopping experience is now very similar to my real life experience.  This is a wonderful technology and will improve and I for one am excited to see that happen.

The visual and modeling technology of Second Life has seen some dramatic and exciting improvements.  However, what hasn’t improved significantly over the years is how the shopping experience that Linden Labs provides in its simulations happens.  Today, as in the days when I first started we still have basically three options for everything we create; copy, transfer & modify.  Based on the enhancements we have seen which I noted earlier these three options are sorely outdated.  In next month’s rant I’ll discuss some of my ideas about how our shopping experiences could be even better with some thoughts about how to improve the viewer to make that happen.

If you have read any of my past articles you may have come to realize a common thesis to my opinions about Second Life and why we are here.  We are sexual creatures by nature.  Most of our early adult lives are all about acquiring a mate for one night or even for life.  Shopping is no different.  While many times we shop because we have to for food and necessities, when leisure time is involved our shopping usually drives us to enhance our personification of ourselves to the world around us.  And in most cases to bring attention to ourselves.  All of us have that primal need for sexual gratification even in small doses and in many ways we don’t consider sexual in nature.  We shop to provide that need.  Second Life gives us the ability to do so in our own way, and without the limitations we deal with in our real lives.

Many may come to Second Life for sexual pleasure, most don’t realize that they get fulfillment here through shopping.  But I’m sure Linden Labs does.

SO YOU WANNA BE A SL GAZILLIONAIRE!

Before you take a read on this opinion take a read of my post above in the labels called "A Dancer's Life".

*****

Let's just say that I sure was fooled when I first came to Second Life. Making money, real money in Second Life is just as hard as making money in the "real" world. In fact, I tend to think it's much more difficult. While I'm sure that many people have made money in Second Life, I tend to think most of them make enough just to pay the tier enacted by Linden Labs, or the rent they pay to greedy landlords, or not so greedy landlords.

I have many new women coming to me asking me how to make money in a virtual world. The biggest problem I see is that many do not have or wish to learn the skills or make the investment that it takes to earn a virtual living. Other than camping or becoming a skilled and lucky Zyngo player, every money making venture requires an investment in time and capital.. which is money for most of us.

Let take an example of a dancer, or even a club host. Many say that either job doesn't make a lot of money. Well that's not entirely true. I danced and brought in over one-thousand lindens a week, sometimes in a night. Now before I get a plethora of comments about that being nothing, to a new member of the Lindonean race, one-thousand Lindens is quite a bit of cash. So yeah, you can make money in this virtual world. And at four-thousand Lindens a month you have enough to invest in a small plot of Linden Land and have some cash left over.

But before you can make that kind of cash you need to invest. You need a decent shape. You need at least one and preferably a few top notch skins to cover that shape. You need clothes. While freebie clothes may do for a start. Don't expect customers to throw Lindens your way until you really invest in good sexy lingerie and exotic wear. Hair, oh yes. Not that spiky worm like hair.. oh no.. you need the good stuff. How about shoes, belts, jewelry and dances!! Before you know it, you have invested at least a few thousand lindens into your avatar to make it look good.

Now jumping on a dance pole and wiggling your ass isn't going to get you rolling in the dough. Most people, that's men AND women, are you ready for that too; need a little verbal stimulus. You have to be good at getting them turned on. And not virtually turned on! You have to invoke a REAL feeling in this person you’re wishing to extract money from. Because like you, they know that Lindens are worth real value to. You have to give them the feelings they came seeking you out for. And what is that feeling? You have to find out! Does this sound easy? Let me tell you it's not. So, after dropping a couple thousand now you have to LEARN how to turn on the person on the other side of that avatar with your words. Are you ready to spend another valuable resource, your time, to learn that skill?

No, even a simple job like dancing in the virtual world can have a steep learning curve. But let's say you are open-minded. You have no issue turning on men and women (remember, were talking about really turning them on now, not virtually; and know that the woman you’re turning on could be a man in real life, or vice versa). You have no moral issues about going nakie when the coins drop into the till. Let's say you learn to emote. You know how to start a conversation and how to keep it entertaining. You're doing everything right and yes, you're making three-hundred to one-thousand a night. Now what are you going to do with all of that cash?

Here is where it gets interesting. You dance to earn cash. Why? To spend the cash of course. So you do. You spend your hard earned Lindens on.. CLOTHES! That's right, because while you are dancing in yet that same ol' bra n' panty set. The girl next to you is in that super-hot latex second skin with just enough exposed to make YOU a little warm. And you want one too because all of a sudden, she is making more tips then you. And her boots!! Wow.. if you only had boots like that. And her hair and her skin and prim nails.. Raggedy Ann looks better then you next to her. So you take your hard earned money and you buy clothes. And not clothes that you can wear anywhere, nope. You buy "stripper clothes".

Now the vicious circle is complete. You are dancing to earn money so that you can purchase items that allow you to be a better dancer and earn money. So, what is a dancer to do? Well there is always modeling or escorting. Good luck with that too!

*****

Boy it sure sounds like the Sedona of yesteryear was a fairly cynical woman!  Well not really.  When I wrote that many realizations were coming to me.  An epiphany of sorts occurred to me around the fact that no matter how hard you work in Second Life, doing the typical jobs one does here is not going to make you financially independent.  I became a student in the Second Life economy and I found that in reality there are two economies in play here.

1. The Linden Economy: Wealth in SL is based on the accumulation of lindens, our in-world currency.  Everything can be purchased with lindens and in truth many created in-world items are very cheap or even free.  But what makes this economy thrive is not the massive consumer market or the desire people have to accumulate “things”.  What make this economy work is that a single Linden is incredibly cheap when compared to any real world value.  Okay I hear you saying; “dammit Sed not another analogy to that other place where bad things happen!  I love my fantasy!”  So do I, but in comparison to real wealth, a Linden or even many of them are pretty cheap.  I feel discussing the other economy will bring some light to my reasoning around this.


2. The Land Economy: While everything in the linden economy is considered virtual everything dealing with the land economy is not.  The big irony about our little fantasy world is that in truth, the basic existence of it still aligns to the fact that it is directly tied to real life value and wealth.  In simplistic terms, the wealth you pay for your virtual land is really nothing more than you paying for computer resources.  That’s right; in truth Linden Labs is nothing more than a giant, extremely advanced web hosting service and Second Life is in a sense, a social network for the anonymous.

    

So, the genie is out of the bottle here.  You may be thinking I’m full of crap because you can “play” in Second Life for free.  You can accumulate crap for free.  You can do everything for free in Second Life and still participate just about fully in the environment that Linden Labs provides.  And you’re correct if you look at the investment you made AFTER you log in.  But what about before you log in?  Ask yourself this, when you purchased your computer did you think about its capabilities?  If you were logging into our lovely virtual universe when deciding to purchase your computer I bet you made damn sure well that it could run the SL client you use in probably the high or the “OMG it looks so real” mode.  Because shadows are important too.

You may not realize it but what real value you invested in before you even log into Second Life is part of the land economy too.  Hopefully by now you are beginning to see my point.  The land economy is directly tied to the real world economy!  Land in Second Life has nothing to do with the social experiment I’ve talked about in earlier columns.  Land in Second Life has nothing to do with the virtual goodies that end up in your inventory.  Land in Second Life exists so that Second Life can exist.  And EVERY single person pays for that economy, regardless of whether you actually own, lease, rent or use free land.  Everybody pays some real value to be a part of the Linden’s virtual 3D anonymous “Facebook”.

So do the two economies I’ve laid out have zero relationship to each other?  We all know that you can convert Lindens to real currency and that real currency can purchase Lindens.  But is a Linden actually considered “currency”.  Linden Labs says it’s not.  They consider Lindens “tokens” used for the transfer of virtual items in their virtual universe.  Personally I disagree with that premise.  I spend Lindens each month to lease land that I can use to make a virtual home.  Those lindens are used by my land owner, converted to real capital, to lease the server that allows my land to exist; with a tidy profit she keeps for herself I’m sure.

So why would anyone want to become a SL gazillionaire?  Most likely for the same reason I discussed in my blog article.  Because those “tokens” are really just like the tokens I use in my real life.  But we call them coins, or dollar bills.  And if I made a gazillion of them in Second Life I could probably pay for at least my bi-weekly trip to the nail salon.  Yeah, I want nails like Sedona has now!  Well, not as long.  So the question came back to me.  If I could get pretty nails via Second Life how would I do it?  What economy should I invest in?  Do I invest in the linden economy or the land economy?  My answer really came down to this; how much real world financial risk am I willing to take?

Either way I knew that any investment I made into becoming rich in Second Life would incur a cost.  Again my blog article clearly spells this out.  It could be a financial cost, or a personal cost in time and energy spent learning skills to accomplish the task at hand to acquire the virtual wealth I desired.  If I take the financial risk then to me, the land economy seemed the prudent choice.  I’m already in for a dime, why not for a dollar so to speak.  I’ve spent the money to have the computer necessary to invest my time in SL, so why not invest more in hopes of getting a return?  I did this for a while.  Basically land flipping with some financial partners and I did find it very rewarding financially.  But the costs and risk compared to the linden economy was huge and I found I didn’t have the stomach for it.  Second Life wasn’t as much fun for me as I always worried if my tier costs would kill any profit from my flip if I held onto the land to long.  So I gracefully exited that scene.

I then turned to the linden side of the economy.  I first looked at building content.  I tried clothing, homes, anything.  I even pursued scripting as I have a real talent for computer programming.  While I feel with time and energy I could become a great creator of content, the time involved to learn the skills and to come up with the imaginative designs required more than my real life allowed.  And I just don’t have the patience to keep a long term vision relevant in my priorities.  I’m sure if you ask Sky she will agree with me on that.

My last attempt was to try the typical route of starting a club.  Since SL is a big ass social washing machine I felt a well-designed club, managed properly with just the right theme surely would be profitable.  The club I came up with which was actually a resort was successful.  We had a good sized following and anybody that came always said they loved it there and had a great time.  But two problems cropped up.  The first was that running a club full time was like having a second job.  I would at time regret logging onto SL because I knew I had to deal with personnel issues or plan events or god forbid, do accounting.  Managing a club is work!  And I work hard enough in my real life.  My other problem was that while we got paid in linden economy currency I had to pay out costs in land economy currency.  Since a dollar is about two-hundred and sixty times more in value then a linden.  Whatever lindens we took in made barely made a dent in our tier costs.  So I paid a lot of my real world cash (my business partner paid a lot more) to keep the club open and expanding.  In the end I just didn’t see the reason to pay to do something that seemed like a job to me.  So I closed the club down.

Do all of my failures, or learning experiences as I like to call them, mean you cannot become a gazillionaire in Second Life?  Absolutely you can!  If you look at the first two attempts you will see had I had the entrepreneurial spirit or patience to keep to a long range goal I’m sure I would be hip deep in lindens by now.  But since I don’t does this mean I’ll never have any wealth in Second Life?  No, I have tremendous wealth in Second Life.  My wealth does not come in the form of financial treasure.  It comes in the form of personal gain to me as a person. 

The personal gain I speak of is not Sedona’s, but of her puppeteer, me.  A couple of months back Harry Bailey wrote an article about “What would Friday do?”  Reading this article made me think about how Sedona’s virtual life affected my own.  When I came to Second Life I strived to make Sedona’s personality my own, but with a twist.  She would be less critical of people, more patient of them, and more understanding and caring of others not like me.  I know those traits were inside of me I just needed to be in a place where exercising them would produce less real emotional risk to myself.  Could I open myself up to others, be more empathetic and be that “sweet little girl” my mother always reminded me I was?

It’s been over five years now.  Sed has always been here. She has always been active.  And after reading Harry’s article I reflected back and thought how often in my real life did I ask myself “what would Sedona do in this situation”.  My answer was not always “the answer”.  But it always gave me pause to look at the real life situation in another perspective.  I get asked a lot how do I keep my interest in Second Life for so long with the same avatar.  I do because today I still meet great people every day, have wonderful virtual experiences (no, not sex) with my friends, and find amazing creations that come from peoples imagination from all over the world.  So did I ever meet my goal of becoming a gazillionaire in Second Life?  If you say yes you’re damn right I did!  I’ve gained more personal wealth then I could ever imagine in Second Life.  And I do so for less than a night out every month.  My return on my investment has been remarkable.

I am a gazillionaire in Second Life.  But in ways I didn’t even think existed.

What is love in Second Life

Hello again! This is my second article for Rez magazine.  I've thought about what I should write about this month.  I've had lots of help from friends with ideas.  In the end I felt that y’all wanted my opinion on everything Second Life.  Is it because I feel my Second Life pontification is edge of your seat must reads?  No, my goal is to spark thought and reflection.  So please take my opinion not as gospel, but as a starting point to your own reflections about this virtual world we all inhabit.  And hey, if you want to share your opinion with me, please send me a note.  I’d love to hear from you.

So yeah, what is love when it comes to Second Life?  When I first posed the question to myself the first thought that came to me was those head bobbing skits that SNL put on.  The skit portrays a slick bare chested fella coming up to some hapless woman with some one-liner that you've heard before, over and over again with the song “what is love” banging away in the background.  The irony about this is that in many cases I've seen that same art of the pickup applied to me regardless if it’s from a man or woman avatar in our virtual world too.  And yeah, in some cases the bare chest is on a woman.

In Second Life as in the SNL skit, love was not really a factor in the blossoming courtship at hand.  Lust was probably the stronger motivating emotion driving many of these impending train wrecks.  But sometimes, not often, but sometimes those trains heading for that cliff don’t crash and burn but explode in a frenzy of emotion.  Even though the aggressor acts like a proverbial coyote painted the train tunnel on the mountain and the road runner, for reasons unknown, ran right through it.  We don’t know why this miracle happens and we don’t ask.  But here is the real interesting part about love in Second Life, we… are… cartoons!!

So what ignited that spark to draw an interest?  My personal experiences in our virtual universe always lead me to question this.  Is my avatar that sexy?  Does she interest you that much?  When I’m approached I usually get these three basic questions;

1. How old are you – My profile says I’m about five and one-half years old.  Oh you mean how old am I in my real life?

2.Where do I live – Well I have this really nice little 8192 sqm corner plot on a private island sim.  Oh you mean where do I live in real life?

3. Am I really a woman – How can I not be a woman? I have cleavage from my neck to my legs! Oh you are asking if I am a woman in real life.

Don’t think of these questions as trivial.  In every case when I get that unsolicited IM and these three questions come I realize this person that wants to know about me isn't interested in Sedona and her life.  This person is interested in Sedona’s Puppeteer, in other words, me.  So this begs another question.  If my avatar was not appealing visually would this same person still contact me?  I think not.  But am I wrong about my cynic viewpoint here regarding first encounters?

The conundrum I find myself here is why does this person want to know about my real life when the initial attraction is most likely Sed’s physical appearance?  I’m sure we can talk about the obvious answers around the certainty of my real life womanhood and my suitor’s issues with their own sexuality.  But that discussion would lead my rant on love off of the rails.  Or would it?  I’m one of those crazy people that does put a little bit of something about my real life in my profile.  I do this in hopes that I don’t get those basic three questions that much.  It doesn't help.  But when I do get asked about my real life I usually point people to my profile.  And then it gets interesting!

In my profile I have a real life picture of me and yeah, I made sure it was a nice one of me.  What usually then happens is interest in me becomes very significant, not Sedona, but me.  Sometimes the offers for sex range from the innocuous “let me show you my place” (yeah I learned what that really means in real life) to just a simple abrupt “I want to fuck you let’s go now”.  At this point you’re probably asking yourself “what is this dizzy bitch Sedona trying to convey to me, get to the point”.  My point is that even though in many cases somebody is just looking for a cheap thrill with a woman in real life, what got their attention is Sedona the avatar and in some cases they may be looking for more than a cheap thrill.  They may be looking for a virtual relationship and in those rare cases, hopefully something that translates into a real life relationship.

 

If you think I am nuts ask a friend that is in a virtual relationship or examine your own.  Exactly how did it start?  The ice had to be broken somehow.  And I’m sure a hot looking avatar probably helps.  While we see the avatar and that spawns the initial interest what many of us are looking for in a virtual relationship is a real life lover.  Maybe not physically, not initially but in soul, spirit and mind what holds our attractions for each other in Second Life is not the hot avatar.  In the end the real interest of a relationship lies in the puppeteer pulling those strings.  In many ways love in Second Life, in the long run, is very similar to love in real life.  While the eye candy is nice initially it’s really the person inside that we all fall in love with.

So if my assumption is right, love in a relationship in Second Life is really the same in many ways as love in a relationship in real life and if so why do many Second Life relationships fail so quickly?  Well probably because in real life they do to and most likely for the same reasons.  People can fall out of love as quickly as they fall in love.  So is there any difference in how we love each other in Second Life in regards to how we love each other in real life?  Ignoring the obvious physical differences in how we love each other virtually (and I really hope that virtual reality solves that problem before I get too old to not care any longer) how we fall in love and feel for each other can feel the same for some people but not in all.  One of the realities I learned early in my second life is that there are two extremes when it comes to how people interact with each other here.  Like everything else in the world I've given them labels.  They are the “Realist” and the “Role Player”.

Now understand I feel these are the two extremes with most of us falling somewhere in the middle of the scale.  The Realist brings their real life with them into Second Life.  They feel their avatar is an extension of their real selves.  Many times you hear them say “Avatars have real feelings too”.  This is the mark of a true realist.  The Role Player on the other hand thinks of Second Life not so much a simulation of real life social interactions but more of a game.  A place where they can be someone they would not most likely be in real life.  They look for the fantasy element in Second Life and don’t take their virtual lives too seriously.

We all have a bit of both in each and every one of us.  For me, I feel I’m about half way leaning on the realist side.  I bring my real life into conversations.  I take my relationship with my partner Sky seriously and think about her every day in my real life.  I discuss my real life family with my close friends and as you can tell from my writings I interchange my use of Sedona and myself in conversation.  However, I also love the fantasy elements of Second Life.  It’s not so much that I don’t have to worry about periods or cellulite but that I can express myself in any fashion that I wish or try just about any fantasy that would like to explore.  And for those that know me they know that I have. 

Everybody falls somewhere in this scale and depending where you do can have some serious implications about how you feel about virtual relationships.  What is even more interesting is when the role player begins a relationship with a realist.  This usually ends up in disaster.  Many times Sed's shoulder has had tears applied to it from that realist who realized that their role playing partner really didn't feel the same way they did about the relationship.  While this can also happen in our real lives, we even call those types “players”, it can usually be detected by most of us early in the dating period.  But here in the virtual world that successful player detection can be significantly more difficult.  This is where I feel love in Second Life can be dangerous for those that don’t realize some think “it’s just a game”.

Where this becomes even more tenuous is that people in the virtual world can take on completely different identities in the form of alts.  This has serious ramifications as now your partner can cheat on you and there is for the most part no way you can know or find out.  For the role player this really isn’t an issue.  The pure role player again doesn't believe the social interactions they have tie to their own reality.  Any feelings they would portray would all be a part of the role.  However, the realist allows their feelings for their partner to migrate into their real life.  That partnership has true meaning in their real life and carries with it the emotional baggage similar to a true real life relationship.  In most cases the relationship is not as strong as a real life one but in some, it can be.  These can have the potential to allow the virtual relationship to then move into the real world.

So to finish off my babbling about love let’s bring home the bacon and talk about the variations from these extremes.  One thing I see among friends and perving profiles is that many people have relationships that are more like a “friends with benefits” aspect.  This aligns very well to the same real world instance of the same name.  In this case there is probably some realist aspect to the relationship in that there is a mutual trust between the two sex partners.  Is love really involved?  Possibly yes.  In both the virtual world and the real world many times two people that take on this type of courtship involves one of them that is actually in love with the other.  However the other wants to keep the relationship platonic.  Most of us know how these turn out.

Another common theme I see in the virtual world but not in the real world as much is the three-way love affair or a slant on that theme, open relationships.  Oh sure, three-ways are somewhat common in the real world.  But in truth the percentage of real three-way relationships is quite small while in Second Life it’s very common when looking at it per capita.  Ask around, you’ll find that open partnerships are extremely common in our virtual world.  In both cases here I believe this phenomenon is due to a mix of the realist and the role player coming together.  Feelings are shared between the two partners but hey, it’s not like its actually real right?  “It’s all for fun” is usually the answer you get back if you press why the relationship the two have is not monogamous.

Here love can be an interesting part of the equation.  In many cases both partners do show affection for each other.  However one or both have moved more to the role player side of the scale and wish to keep the partnership open.  Again this can have ramifications if one of the partners goes along with the deal so that they can have the relationship and really bend to the realist side.  Eventually feelings can go sour as the realist leaning partner has to deal with jealousy issues and fear of being left alone or separated from their lover altogether.

Love in Second Life is in many ways more complex then love in our real lives.  Given that real life love is bat shit crazy; think of all of the songs, movies, books, poems, news, scandals, and just general drama real life love has been focused on us and it’s no wonder virtual love often falls to the same depths of drama too.  With all of the added ways people feel not only about love in general but in how they present it in Second Life it’s a wonder any of us can keep a relationship for months or even years.  I can say I am one of those people that have been in a long term virtual relationship with my partner Skiler for years now.  Ours is a monogamous relationship and our rules are simple and have helped us to keep our trust and love for each other on track.  But what really has helped us is that that our boundaries are clear and we both accept them.  If either one of us feels we've crossed over our mutual scope of love, we are sure to let the other know.  So after all of my ranting here I can say from experience that real life love and virtual love do have one thing in common for both to flourish long term.  Communication!

The Politics of Second Life

I have started writing articles for Rez Magazine.  I'll be posting the unedited versions here for your reading. These articles are not so much opinion as an attempt to get your own noggin thinking about all things SL.  This article was posted in the November issue.  Enjoy!

Welcome to my first column for Rez Magazine.  I hope my writing provides some serious thought about all things SL.  I also hope a little reflection, laughter and insight comes to you from my writings too.  Friday says I need to make it edgy.  So to keep with Friday’s demands I thought I would begin my first article about the politics of Second Life.  No… really, politics. Okay if you’re still reading I’m shocked.  You should be concerned about your state of mind at this point and thinking about getting some serious professional help.  But regardless of mine or yours mental health I am going to talk about politics in SL.  Why take on such an endeavor?  Well, where there are people there is politics.  In the United States, Americans have to make a big decision this month.  Many will run from that decision or ignore it altogether.  In Second Life, you can run from it, but you can’t ignore it.  One day you’re going to have to face SL politics because it will affect some part of your virtual life if it’s not already.  It may even affect the puppet master pulling on your avatars strings.  So I’m going to discuss it and in doing so I want to start off with a little story.

Jane Doe was new to SL. She started saving her lindens for her own place almost from the first day she rezzed onto the grid (see how I got a plug in for the magazine, editor take note).  After a few weeks she found a job as a dancer in some cheap dive.  There were only ever a few patrons there for her to entertain but she did her best to give them a good show trying to do the best she could with her limited funds and lack of shape shifting skills.  Living in cheap mainland apartments and having to deal with people invading her privacy took Jane’s patience to its limit. The couple next door was again making incredible noises with nothing but a paper thin prim wall between them.  The sounds emanating from the voice channel did nothing if not amplify the sounds of their erotic pixel love and cerebral thoughts behind it.  At first it was fun to listen to but after a while she got tired of it.  Or maybe it reminded Jane of her own loneliness.  In any case Jane had enough.  She also didn't know about the mute button yet.

For months Jane worked and saved her lindens. At the same time she moved up to better jobs, well better dance jobs in better clubs. Money was starting to come in and she finally had enough for a down payment and tier for her own parcel of land. So Jane started looking in the classifieds to find that perfect place to make her new home.  Eventually with a little digging around she found a “new” sim with decent priced parcels she could afford for her to place a home on.  The parcels were quite large for the price so she discussed the terms with the sim owner.  He seemed decent enough and he promised that he would only be leasing out the parcels for people’s homes.  So Jane paid the man the thousands of lindens she had saved for her parcel and started immediately thinking about how she would mold the parcel to her idea of a virtual utopia.

For about three weeks life was good for Jane.  She had purchased a small home, found some low prim cheap furniture to put in it and had actually started molding her land with some nice landscaping.  Then everything started to change.  First of all across the street from her parcel a slum like warehouse popped up.  The place sat right in the middle of the sim and was a terrible eyesore.  She asked the sim owner about his neighborhood rule and he basically told her she had no say.  It was his sim and he needed the cash.  So she erected a large wall on the one side of her property to block it and continued with her design.  In the meantime she got to know some of her neighbors and they too complained.  They all felt helpless even after banding together.

This went on for about two weeks.  Then one day Jane logs into her home and finds it missing.  As a matter of fact not only does she find her home gone, but all of her furnishings, her landscaping, her everything!  In their place are new structures and a new person laying more down, on her land!  She approaches the intruder and kindly asks him what he is doing on her land.  He basically tells her it’s his land and she is trespassing.  Jane immediately checks the parcel profile and to her amazement she is no longer the owner of the parcel.  Her land has been stolen from her.

Has anything like this ever happened to you?  Was it land or something even closer to your heart?  Maybe something you created; something you put a lot of time and effort into?  Has your clothing designs or textures ever been stolen?  Have you had something, anything you've created just ripped from you after many hours of heart and hard work?  Welcome to the world of a government of anarchy in Second Life and the politics that goes with it.  A world with no police, no law, no judges, and no way to right the wrong placed upon you. Welcome to a world where you have the freedom to express your deepest desires and sexual fantasies and a world for every predator to find easy victims to prey upon.  Welcome to the freedom of living in Second Life.  Let me continue on with our story of Jane Doe.

Upon seeing her parcel taken right out from under her Jane contacts the sim owner.  He tells her that he no longer owns the sim and has sold it to another person.  He gives her the name of this “new owner” and tells her she needs to discuss the terms with them.  So Jane contacts this new owner and provides her list of grievances.  After a couple of days Jane gets her reply; “Tough shit, it’s my sim and I’ll do with it as I please”.  This leaves Jane very upset as she spent real money and time on this “investment”.  She contacts her old neighbors only to find that the same situation has happened to them.  Everybody is up in arms and is understandably upset about what has transpired.  Together they come up with the idea to petition Linden Labs about the situation at hand.

This is where the politics of Second Life comes in to play.  In a real world environment there are laws about contracts.  Laws about stealing another’s property (let’s keep discussion of eminent domain out of this dialog for today shall we) and laws of basic civil justice or natural law in most parts of the world.  These laws do not exist in any matter or fashion in Second Life.  Think of that.  A place where there is no natural law, no justice, no due process, no civil laws, no police to enforce those laws and no method of reconciliation or arbitration.  If you need to take care of a wrong pressed upon you inside the realm of Second Life it’s up to you to deal with it.  So, what about Linden Lab?  What is their take on a situation such as this?  The place to look is in their Terms of Service (TOS).

For those of you wondering what this is it’s the terms you agreed to by checking the “I accept” box or button the first time you logged in.  The Terms of Service defines what the legal obligation between you and Linden Lab is when using the Second Life service.  Now as far as a legal contract between a service provider and a consumer, the Terms of Service by Linden Labs is pretty standard and affords you some real world protections and rights.  In this particular case I’ll discuss a few of the terms stated in the TOS.

In the TOS, Section 5 states that a Linden Dollar is considered a “token” and is not to be considered any kind of currency. When obtaining “Lindens” you are granted a limited license to use the tokens to hold or barter, trade and/or transfer then for access to content, applications, services and other user-created features inside the “service” called Second Life.  So in the context of living in-world there is a value aligned to content but no value whatsoever in the real world.

So you’re probably thinking to yourself you paid good “real world” money for these Lindens.  You also know that you can exchange them back for currency.  So they do have a real value right?  Not really.  The tokens you purchase have as much value as the tokens you obtain to play games at your local arcade or favorite kiddy pizza restaurant.  Outside of these venues they have no intrinsic value.

Well let’s get back to the story of Jane to see if solutions to her problems can be found.  She and her neighbors send the petition in.  After some time the petition comes back that there is nothing that Linden Lab can do about their lost property or the Lindens they paid for it.  Caveat emptor!  Again the TOS that Jane agreed to keeps Linden Lab’s hands clean of her situation.  Section 4.3 states that Linden Lab is only a service provider of Second Life and is not responsible or liable for any content, conduct or services of user or third parties that use the Second Life service.  It also states they are not required to arbitrate in such matters.  So Jane now learns there is no natural law to speak of.  There is no justice for Jane and her neighbors.  Or is there?

Upon the discovery that Linden Lab will not assist them Jane and her neighbors take the matter into their own hands.  They set up an operation to determine how best to not let the person that now holds the sim deprive them of the land they rightfully paid for.  So they start asking questions.  They search the forums and eventually they discover they are the victims of a standard sting operation.  Here is how it goes.  Avatar A, the good guy, purchases a sim from Linden Labs following all of the rules set forth in the TOS.  Everything is legal and proper.  Then Avatar A advertises that parcels are for sale.  People purchase the plots for a specified price and the parcel is turned over to them.  Then we move to Avatar B in this sting operation.
Avatar B who may be actually the same puppeteer as the one pulling Avatar A’s strings purchases the sim from Avatar A.  Again everything is legal and proper with the service provider here.  However, now that Avatar B owns the sim they wipe the sim clean of everybody’s content and once again advertise plots are available to purchase.  Once the sim is full of new tenants Avatar B hands the sim back to Linden Lab and moves on to repeat the process.  Jane and her band determine this is what happened to them.  Their decision is to let everybody else know what has transpired and to find help in getting revenge for what was done to them.  They take the law into their own hands.

The group begins to post messages on the Second Life forums.  They create a web site posting conversations of what transpired.  They tell anybody willing to listen what has happened to them.  They hold events and lectures for the sole purpose of letting people know what happened to them and who did this injustice to them.  They hire a group of in-world mobsters to locate the other sims of these con artists who then repeatedly “bomb” the sims with adverse content making the sims completely useless.  Jane and her now band of mercenaries do everything they can think of to put these thieves out of business.  For Jane justice is not served by law but by revenge, which is the only law she can find.  However, there is law in Second Life.  And the law found Jane a few weeks later in the form of a suspension notice of her account.

You see, while I said the politics of Second Life is anarchy, which is indeed the case, the politics around how one conducts themselves outside the place of the virtual world is entirely different.  When it comes to the rights of not the avatar in the simulation, but the rights and privacy of the puppet master pulling the avatars strings, the law provided by Linden Lab is very clear, strict and enforceable.  Jane and her band of friends got their first taste of the TOS Community Standards.  The standards are in place to promote privacy, respect without harassment, and to minimize intolerance between residents.  In this case there is no anarchy just swift and decisive justice handed down without regard to circumstance or facts.  And Linden Lab is the judge and jury of the verdict.  How can this be?  Section 11 of the TOS says so.  Yes you agreed to these terms to be in their virtual world.

The law in our virtual world is very limited.  Avatars have little to no rights in the world.  As a bisexual woman in Second Life being in a lesbian relationship I get a lot of abuse and criticism from others about how my avatar chooses to live her life.  Yes in Second Life it’s a freedom of choice not to be confused with real life.  She constantly has to thwart unwanted sexual advances by others.  She constantly has to ignore the requests for sex or threesomes with her lover.  And in some cases the hate that her chosen lifestyle brings on has to be dealt with too.  However, as long as the advances and hurtful words are directed at the avatar and not her puppeteer no “laws” have been broken.  This is the virtual world we live in.  The world we agree to when we check that little box at the end of the wall of text presented to us.

The politics of our virtual world does not protect the rights of its citizens. The politics of our virtual world does not provide a means of justice for wrongs perpetrated against avatars themselves.  The politics of our virtual world does allow the predator to feed off of the naivety and trust of the ordinary citizens and the food are those virtual tokens.  Tokens that carry no intrinsic value other then they can be used in world for all commerce and then exchanged out of world for actual currency.

So what is an avatar to do?  The first is to understand that I do not condone what happened to Jane and her band of would be landowners.  They were played in a sting operation that was entirely legal to the creators / owners of the virtual world.  Once they learned the virtual world politics themselves they understood how to use those same politics to their favor.  They continued to stay banded and created their own community on their own sim.  They actually instilled their own set of politics in the form of rules and guidelines.  They used the land convenient, a political tool to install a sense of rights, responsibilities, guidelines and policies over their new home.  In a sense they formed a new government moving away from the politics of anarchy to a form of egalitarianism.  They created their utopia on their own terms.

So what does the politics of Second Life have to do with anything in our real lives?  Actually it has everything to do with our real lives and nothing to do with our avatars life.  The politics is driven by Linden Lab’s constitution called the Terms of Service.  In the real world we are consumers of the service they provide and we agree to abide to those terms, not as avatars, but as real consumers of the service.  The politics are real and have real implications.  The anarchy of the virtual world and the politics that drives that anarchy has no real implication.  We can remove ourselves from that anarchy by just logging off.

If you understand anything from my ranting here understand this.  Your avatar has zero inherited or inalienable rights in the virtual community.  There is no law and there is no justice.  You are on your own to do as you wish.  This allows great freedom to do as you wish and to be honest that is a great thing about Second Life.  You’re freedom extends to the point of disrupting the service or violating Community Standards used to protect our real lives inalienable natural rights.  Because of this freedom that stems from the politics of Second Life, there are many more implications in how our avatars live and in how we live in the real world with ours and others avatars.  It is these implications you will hear me discuss in the future.  They range from economic to social issues, from in-world technical changes to changes and destiny that leaks into our real lives.

Second Life is an incredible social simulation that opens our eyes to our own personal needs, wants, secrets and desires.  It helps each of us to learn and maybe fear a little bit what we discover about ourselves.  It can be a tool to help teach all of us how to be a better real live person by teaching us that intolerance, bigotry and closed minds have no place in just society.  And yes, it can teach us that with complete freedom comes discovery, but also corruption and hate can find they flourish there too.  I recommend each person reading this really review the Linden Lab‘s Terms of Service.  Not just to know what you can get away with, but to know how you are protected and what actual rights as a consumer of the Second Life service you really have.

The politics of Second Life while not directly protecting your avatar has a profound effect on the environment your avatar live in, just like how the politics of the real world has a profound effect on your real life.  But because of the environment of freedom and what it allows in-world to the life you live, how you live it now comes down to how you socially interact with others, which can cause yet another virtual world reality called drama.  And that I’ll leave to another discussion.

A Rez Day Gift

One of the ladies and super sexy hosts at Mojo Haven had her rez day this weekend. I'll keep the name under wraps for her privacy. A tradition at the Haven is that the rez day recipient has to sit in a lap dance chair while any and all take turns pleasuring her. Now before you start thinking it's a free for all sexcapade.. well actually it is but it's all in fun. So today Sky and I put our heads together and came up with our own lil lap dance story for our lucky rez day girl. I thought I would share it with you.


Wrapping my hair around my fingers as I walk around you sitting there. I smile seductively as I sway my hips with the music. Stopping in front of you I bite my lip as I slide my hand down my tempting curves, slowing to run it across all of my sensitive places, I moan slightly from the sensations my own touch brings to me.

Playfully I twirl a lock of my blond hair between my fingers, the music guiding my body in seductive sways. Seeing your beauty in front of me my eyes glisten with a sexual awakening as they lock upon yours.

Slowly I move in closer to you, my body still seductively swaying to the music. My ass swaying back and forth, then up and down in slow rhythmic motions. I see your eyes showing concern as you see in mine the hunger I have for you. Wetting my lips with the tip of my tongue I continue moving closer. My perfume now inundates your senses, filling your lungs with it's sharp scent.

I hook my thumbs under the waistband of my skirt. Pulling it down slowly I bend my legs as I bring the loose fitting garment to my feet. Stepping out of it I slide my hands back up my legs.  Caressing every single curve until reaching my thong. Hypnotized by your incredible beauty, the music flowing into my ears gains further control as my hands yet again explore the sensual curves of my body.

Now my hands reach out to your shoulders for support. Pressing you in against the chair. Forcing your body little motion, I see your eyes widen now in fear. What is my motive? Bringing my lips slowly to your ears I whisper "can you help me a little bit?" as I settle myself on to your lap. Taking your hands I bring them to the laces of my corset. You instinctively unlace me from my confinement where I can reach down and now pull the loose garment up over my head. I then reach down and pull my cotton shirt up over my head, my arms outstretched above me I reveal my now ample bare breasts to you.

Moving forward I bring my breasts close to your face. Your eyes seemingly locked on them you cannot escape me. My skin tingles upon feeling your breath on them. Grinding myself down your body, planting small kisses along the way my lips melt with anticipation upon your flesh leaving imprints of myself upon it as I finally kneel before you. My hair gathers in a puddle between your thighs. I can now smell the aroma of your desire sending my senses from a small flame to a raging fire.

Everyone around sees me now bringing my head down between your thighs. They cannot see what I am doing but you can feel it. You feel my lips pressing against your panties now starting to soak with your own juices. I inhale deeply and I kiss you between your thighs in small little pecks. Teasing you, leaving you with a stronger desire for more. I pull your thong aside and use my tongue to get a small taste. Just the tip so that I can remember your aroma and taste for eternity. I hear your moans of pleasure. I feel your legs spread and your pelvis press higher in hopes of more.

Smiling, knowing I have your attention now, I tease you by rising up off of you, my firm ass swaying to the pulse of your heart.. Standing up I look into your pleading eyes. Gathering the moisture that has built around my lips, I trace my fingers from your inner thigh, etching sexual desire into your flesh as my finger tips move from between your thighs and up your chest. I then bring them between my thighs to my wetness fully inserting them into me, soaking them. I then bring them to my lips, mixing my taste with yours.

Closing my eyes as I savor my new recipe, I move my lips to yours. You cannot deny me what we both desire as I press my slightly open succulent lips to yours. My tongue teasing your lips you open them slightly allowing you to taste our combined flavor. I bring a hand to the back of your head and entwining your hair into my fingers I force the kiss into a passionate moment, holding it forever it seems.

Eventually we both need to breath and I release you. Kissing you once again lightly on your lips and then on your cheek. I whisper in your ear "May every rezday bring as much joy and desire as your last sweetheart".  Fully standing up in front of you now I wink to you and see the smile you show that you will remember this day for many years to come.

Isole Angeliche Grand Opening

Yesterday I had the privilege of attending a grand opening party of a new sim that my two friends, Cay and Wulf Carlucci had part in creating and opening. The party was a success with over 35 people in attendance at any given point during its three hour celebration. But this post isn't about the party, but about one incredibly beautifully constructed location.

Isole Angeliche is patterned after that small Italian town set in the Tuscany region. When I first got there however it truly reminded me of the Isle of Capri off of the coast of Naples, Italy. While the architecture in the sim did favor the Tuscany region around Piza, Florence and the surrounding rolling hills I felt that Capri was well represented here.  With its homes leading from the harbor up the mountain to the town proper, along with its small courtyards and plentiful shops along walking paths, touring this sim gave me the same feeling I had as I walked up the meandering roads that led from Capri's harbor to the shops higher above while on vacation in Italy.

While the sim is new and some shops are empty do not let that stop you from exploring this wonderful place. There is a lot to see and I suggest you take a good look. There is a really nice teleport system in place. You touch the object and a series of named pictures appear to help you get around. The teleport devices are located around the island in convenient locations. I highly recommend you take a gondola ride through the tunnels and around the island itself.

Here are some pictures to give you an idea of what you will see as you explore the island.

How We See Ourselves

One of the interesting facets of Second Life is that we get to portray ourselves in exactly how we wish to be seen. What I find particularly interesting is how people actually take on that vision. I look at Sedona as an extension of myself in many ways. She is the woman personified in that if I was able to shape my real life body like hers I would. While many of her features comes from me, her normal blond hair color being one them, her body is what I would consider perfect in my mind. Sedona is the person I want representing my real person to people who see me in Second Life. Since first impressions do mean something I make it a priority that she always looks her best when just generally presenting herself in public. In private, roll play or themed sims the situation is completely different dependent on the environment of the sim.

So, it begs me to wonder. Do other people feel the same way as I do about their avatars? Sky and I have had this discussion many times. So have I and other close friends of mine. The general consensus that I have found is that yes, most people generally make their avatars look how they would like others to see them. If that is the general case, and I have to assume it is, then why do I see many avatars that look plain, frumpy, with exotic shapes, dressed horribly, or in some cases just completely not even human? Is my assumption wrong? Do some people not care how they present themselves or care what the first impression of others are? Is this in fact the "person" they want others to see representing their real master tugging on those strings? Or do they just feel Second Life is not real in any respect? That it's just a game or simulation, or a place on the Internet to find pixel sex only?

Now before I get trolled by people saying I shouldn't question this, I disagree. This post is not an inquisition of peoples individuality. To me Second Life is a great study of this. The point of this post is to provide a discussion to that study and question of individuality. To be clear I know that from time to time we all like to get goofy with our pixel selves. What brings me to the question is; when I'm out in a public area, a shop, mall or club that is not tailored around a specific venue why do I see leather or latex clad submissives in ballet boots, ball gag and chained head to toe? Why do I see small little girls in dresses I only wore on Sundays when I was six? Ignore the obvious cases where people that do this for child sex. I'm talking about the roll play where second families are involved. Why do I see dragons, nekos, furrys, androids, animals, cartoon characters, slaves, vampires, trolls, faeries, elves, and others who show off just about every sexual fetish I can think of? Is this the first impression that the real live person behind these avatars really wants to portray?  Or is this an attempt to bring attention to ones self?

I love Second Life. I love the variety of people it brings together. I love the social aspects it promotes. I love the creativeness that it inspires. And I love the fact that people who I meet can see the real me without any real prejudice. We are all beautiful in our own way in Second Life and that in itself is the single biggest reason to be a Second Life citizen. Hopefully someday I'll have a better understanding of how we see ourselves in Second Life, and why.